Motivate yourself to open up to intimacy

By Scripps Howard News Service

Intimacy, by its very nature, requires us to be vulnerable. Our partner, lover or mate can know us to our very core, sometimes better than we know ourselves, and that can make any of us fell totally exposed.

Intimacy can be intimidating. But it’s an amazingly freeing experience when you can be completely who you are with someone you totally trust.

Allowing ourselves to be open gives us the opportunity to let another’s heart touch our own; the loneliness in our lives melts away with every tender moment we let in. Despite its benefits, for many people this idea is terribly frightening. Someone may want to connect more than anything else in the world, but the fear of being that vulnerable holds him back.

We create a lot of who we are based on the reactions of others. When it’s someone we’re in love with, those reactions govern a large percentage of how we behave. We also will share pars of ourselves with someone we love because there is a real desire to connect.

Couple who have truly intimate relationships can’t wait to share their days and dreams with each other. They want to connect, and not just in the bedroom.

So if the idea of intimacy entices you while at the same time causes you to put your guard up, there are any number of things you can do to help yourself open up. Talking about where you are to the one you love is really the best place to start. By saying the words, you will feel a little more trust and a less fear.

Another step you can take is to do an intimacy inventory. Think about or write down what you believe you know about your lover and what you think he or she knows about you. Talk about it.

Dedicating some time to going deeper and expressing your needs, hopes and fears will lead you to feel there’s a person on Earth who cares for, and totally understands you.

Comments by Dr. Robert Clarkson

Genetically, we are wired to bond with the opposite sex. This creates a more successful atmosphere for child rearing. Trust is very important in a relationship. The parties must trust each other for a love or bonding to build and grow. A distrust can destroy an otherwise successful marriage--this is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Women are naturally insecure and need the constant assurance from their husband of his love with means of protection and resources. Loverboy must continually assure his female that he will be around to protect and provide for her brood.

Within the Patriot community, the wives have additional fears of the departure of their breadwinners. Therefore wives are antsy and feisty. The Patriot must frequently reassure his wife that he is able to fulfil his role of protector and providor for his family.

The Patriot community is rife with unhappy marriages because the women folks are not generally politically inclined. They are busy with child rearing and household duties. As Patriots we must continually listen to our wives and seek to meet their basic female physchological and physiological needs.

To keep their marriage intact and at the same time continue with their political activities, the Patriot needs to offer her a sense of security. This is another purpose of the PN club meetings. When women see a group activity, they will feel more secure and will not be so much on the warpath against the Patriot husband.

Therefore our members are encouraged to bring their wives to the PN events. This allows womenfolk to bond with each other as well. Even if the womenfolk feel the children will not behave during a meeting, you are encouraged to bring the entire family at least for the meal and social hour. Then your wife will be happy that you took everyone out to dinner and she did not have to cook.